Helping kids in correcting mistakes

Knowing how to respond when your child makes a mistake, fails, or suffers a setback is a crucial ability for parents to develop. Whether your child loses a soccer game, is defeated at a board game by a sibling or a friend, has a poor report card, or experiences any other type of setback or disappointment, there will be many moments in their life when things do not go their way. How you react in these situations is critical for your child's social and emotional development.

Some parents respond to their child's setback by comforting them, depending on the event and circumstances. Others may be concerned about what the youngster did wrong or that their child is not performing well. In some circumstances, parents may feel frustrated with their child or with whoever they blame for the setback—a referee, a coach, a teacher, or a judge. Whatever you do, it has an effect on your children.

How Our Reactions Influence Our Children


You may not know it, but your reactions to your children's setbacks can have long-term consequences for how they process and move on. Reactions can also influence how resilient and self-confident children become, as well as how they deal with mistakes and setbacks for the rest of their life.

How to Deliver the Correct Message


There are several strategies to ensure that your child understands that failure is not a reflection on their intelligence or aptitude. Here are some crucial responses to consider the next time your child experiences a setback.

Take note of your child's reaction - Consider your child's reaction to the loss. Are they content since they gave it their all? Are they disappointed in themselves for failing? If they are angry or frustrated with themselves or with the loss, attempt to help them turn that emotion into a motivation to do better the next time.

Consider the future - Instead of dwelling on the defeat, consider how to do it better the next time. Remind your youngster that whatever went wrong can be an extremely helpful and informative tool in determining what to do or not do in the future.

Consider yourself an observer - Take note of how you react to your child's error. Would you consider this individual to be helpful and supportive? Do you think they were conversing in a friendly and relaxed tone? Or would they come across as harsh, critical, or negative? Consider yourself motivating rather than discouraging.

Instead than focusing on the outcome, emphasise the process - Discuss what was enjoyable, what they liked and disliked, and what they believe should be done better the next time. Help them focus their efforts on future planning and on the fun and satisfaction of learning rather than on winning.

Refrain from feeling sorry for your child - When you try to console your child, be careful not to show pity, as this can send a negative message that they are incapable. "Rather than saying, 'I'm so sorry you can't do this,' accept what went wrong and focus on finding a solution," Dr. Haimovitz advises.

Keep the setback in context - Tell your youngster that this outcome does not define who they are and that they are talented in a variety of areas. Tell them about occasions when you failed at something and what you did to improve the outcome the next time. Assure them that mistakes are something that all humans make. The fact that we don't always get it right is one of the essential characteristics that distinguishes us all as humans.

Do something enjoyable together - Increase your child's self-esteem and confidence by doing something they enjoy and are good at. Taking a break from the topic at hand may allow them to focus on fresh techniques and ideas for dealing with it better the next time.

Avoid attempting to correct their error - Helicopter parenting is when you go in to remedy the problem yourself. Helping implies showing them how to figure out what to do on their own.

Remind them of your unwavering affection - Finally, reassure your child that you will always have their back and that they can talk to you about their feelings and thoughts about any mistakes they make. Make sure they understand that your love is something they can always count on, no matter what mistake they make, and that they can come to you with their problems.

What Can Children Learn From Failure?

It's difficult for parents to watch their children fail or make errors, but learning to stand back and let them work through challenges, and occasionally fail in the process, is a vital part of being a good parent. Even though it can be difficult, children can learn a lot from making errors.

Allowing children to make errors, in fact, helps build resilience and is a vital life experience on the route to raising confident and capable children. When children are given the opportunity to struggle through various situations, and occasionally fail, they are able to develop and hone crucial social and emotional abilities.

When children are not given opportunities to fail or struggle, they frequently have low self-esteem and underdeveloped problem-solving skills. They are also more afraid of failure and less inclined to take risks or attempt new things.

According to academics, parents have an obligation to educate their children about the value of failure, including how to respond to it and learn from it. Making errors and failing permits children to learn the persistence and self-control required for productive interaction with the world around them.
Final Remarks

As difficult as it is to watch your children struggle and make mistakes, it is a crucial experience that every child should have on occasion. Of course, this does not mean that you should never help your child with homework, offer reassurance, or interfere when they are in danger, but you should occasionally give them the room to make errors.

Take a big breath the next time your child is in a difficult circumstance and ask yourself if you really need to jump in and help them, or if this is a case where you should let them work it out on their own, even if it means making mistakes along the way. Allowing your child the ability to make some age-appropriate choices, even if the risk of failure is significant, helps create autonomy and independence in your child while teaching them crucial life lessons about failure.


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