Talking About School Day

The first question we ask children when they are back from school is "How was your day?". 

"It was awesome", "It was boring", "I had fun" and the responses go on." (In the Cove, n.d.)

However, there are also the responses that do not seem to tell us anything

"I don’t know", It was okay", "I don’t want to talk about it" or a plain silence. 

As parents this seems to worry us, we want to know everything about how their day was.From the assembly, to sports activities to lunch break and this list goes on till the tests and assignments. But should we not remember, that we have bad days too?We are so concerned about our child and their well-being and want the best for them, in this process of concern we forget the thin line between care and paranoid.

It is absolutely normal for a child to not have a good day or days at school. It is also okay if they don’t  want to talk about it, which could also indicate they are tired, or hungry or sleepy or just want to get out of the house to play. Research indicates that many a times, it is not that the child does not want to tell you. Probably he/she does not know what and how to expressHowever, there are a few ways in which we can have our children open up to us

1. Start by asking them questions that require an answer with a yes or no. This gets them into the habit of indulging in school talks.

2. You can start conversing with your child in the morning, asking or just sharing a few thoughts on what are some of the healthy snacking ideas, or just about how many game periods do they have that day, what classes are they looking forward to?

3. Share common goals with your child, and bring it out through affirmations. Ask them questions around it.  Did you help someone today? Did someone share something with you? Did you clean up your desk before leaving? Did someone tell you how good you look today? This helps the child reflect as well as gives you an understanding of how the child felt in school.

However, when refusing to talk about school are combined with the below indicators, we can consider paying it more attentions

1. When the child refuses to go to school.

2. Starts crying every time you talk about school.

3. Shows certain symptoms like headache, stomach aches.

4. Expresses restlessness.

5. Throws tantrums.

There could be some serious causes that make a child anxious to talk about school and eventually refusing to go to school

1. The child is being bullied in school.

2. The child is facing difficulty in understanding the teacher in class and feels lost.

3. The child might be subjected to corporal punishment.

4. The child feels alienated with no friends.

5. The child being afraid of someone in school

Parents can try to resolve the situation by,

1. Try to talk to the child about their fears. Role play with your Child and understand his/her mind frame.

2. Visit the school and speaking to the teacher.

3. Request a day or two in school/class with the child.

Every Child is different, so is the journey of parenting. Providng an open space for children to be comfortable and discussing their problems with us will help in the journey...

About the Author:

Vineeta Thomas has extensive experience in the education section. She has worked in the spaces of community development and action research. Child development and the effect of parenting on the same is an area of interest. She writes basis her real life experience having interacted with students and parents cutting across age groups. Vineeta is based in Chennai and is a hands on Mamma


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